Flashback

I don't remember the details or even the teacher that taught me this lesson. Ms. Berry-something or Ms. Something-Berry but from time to time I replay this scene in my head.

We're all sitting in a large makeshift classroom with thin dark blue carpet and about 45 feet of whiteboard staring back at us. We were maybe 7 or 8.

I'm not sure why Ms. Berry-something brought this up but she said, "How would you feel if somebody was trying to talk to you and you just ignored them? Didn't even respond in any way?"

I was guilty immediately. I did that to my Dad all of the time! I did that to my Dad this morning as he was driving me to school. He asked me questions about school and my friends and my only response was an abrupt shoulder shrug. I couldn't even spare the time and energy to sincerely shrug my shoulders, implying there was not much to talk about.

 I got a hot sick feeling in my belly. Oh no, I am an asshole. I'm only 7 and I'm already an asshole!

I remember I went home that day and I stopped ignoring my Dad like he was a pigeon cooing on a ledge. When he said something, I responded, even if he was trying to annoyingly joke around with me. I realized not all Dads joked around with their kids and I started to have more conversations with him.

About twenty years later, I still think about how much her statement changed my behavior.

"How would I feel if somebody ignored me while talking?"

Shitty.
It felt shitty as a kid and it feels shitty  now, right?

I guess it's the words, "How would you feel if..." that made an impact on me.

Maybe it's just a part of my personality but I can't help but relate and feel what other people are feeling...unless I hate them.

Kidding.

I still care about you, just less.

So I guess this is the introduction.

Hi,

I want to talk about emotional intelligence and I want people to learn it.

Idtelligence, here we come.